Over the last few years, especially in the last few months, I’ve been noticing something about the relationships between people and how fragile they really are. I’ve more and more realized how important contact is in keeping people tied together. Sure, you can say that the internet ties us together but it’s so easy to just have small talk conversations to people you’d normally talk to more deeply in person. It’s somewhat saddening that people we think we made good connections to in a context will so easily lose contact with you after being apart. I thought when I left Taiwan last year, I’d keep in touch with the new friends I made there but I rarely talk to them, and sometimes when I get around to messaging them on Facebook or whatever, they never reply. When I left Japan I was thinking of keeping more in touch with my host family but I got lazy and never made the effort.
Losing connections with someone doesn’t even have to be through distance. It’s so easy for a relationship to go from friendly and comfortable to awkward. For example, if you avoid someone for a week just because you don’t feel like dealing with them, it could easily become a habit. People tend to keep the status quo. If they break the silence they may feel the need to explain themselves and are embarrassed for acting that way in the first place so they’ll just continue to avoid that which makes them anxious, when it could very well be not a big deal at all.
I feel kinda sad how easy it is for relationships to deteriorate, despite nothing bad actually happening and despite both side having generally positive feelings about each other. But I guess that’s just how life works. You have to try to make things work or else we’ll all fall victim to group think.
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